Perhaps it is time to tell you why. You may or may not believe me when I tell you the why.
It’s a long story that leans heavily into the esoteric and mystical realm. It is not fact-based but faith-based.
As I've shared before, my journey with writing has been a struggle. I faced challenges in school, needing extra lessons in spelling and writing. Unfortunately, these efforts only reinforced the belief that I was incapable of writing anything of value.
My struggle with writing led me to avoid it at all costs. It became a daunting task that I steered clear of like the plague.
Then, I was embarking on becoming a Reiki Master Teacher. To reach a wider audience, I had to use social media and write to create content for posts, newsletters, and my website. Eventually, I wrote my own manuals for crystal healing and the Reiki levels I was teaching.
All okay, and I did this all.
I started working with spirit guides and angels, which led me to write poetry, not to share with the world but with family and friends. It was greeted with a lukewarm welcome.
Alas, nothing happened for a few years.
Until the day I was listening to one of William Whitecloud's meditations. This one was "The Land of Plenty."
And here was Grace's first nudge. At the beginning of the meditation, 30 seconds into it, you receive a gift from Spirit. Mine was a massive snow-white quill with a golden tip/nip, and I heard the word “Scribe.”
When I received this gift, I was taken aback. It was so random, so unexpected, that I knew it couldn't have come from my ego mind. I had to Google the word 'Scribe' to understand its significance. (If the gift had been an artist's paintbrush or a crystal, that would have been expected).
But what to do?
My land of plenty was abundant and beautiful – but there was no road map to show me the way. So here I was, armed with a quill, a word and no direction!
Life went on, and so did my life. You know, the ups and downs. I worked in my business instead of working more on the business. Who knew that these were two different things, the on more important than the in?
I can't tell you more; I just about get my head around it.
Last year, I found Beth Kemptom from Soul-stack via Facebook and felt a deep connection to her. The way she teaches and her books resonate with me, and I found the courage to write due to her way of being and to get myself a Substack page, Which I recently renamed. It went from Musings of an aspiring writer to Bliss and Lemons. I started to fall in love with writing. Poetry is something I now enjoy writing and reading. Newsletters and notes, I enjoy all of it.
And yet, I still wasn’t sure about this all. Still dabbling instead of being it. Holding back.
Now, we go back to last June. I saw a spiritual life coach I trusted and knew. He walks his talk and tells you how it is, but in a constructive way, with kindness and compassion. We were coming to the end of the session, and the energy in the room was changing and intensifying.
Grace was present, and here it was getting interesting.
I was saying in my mind that all I wanted to do was write and paint.
I felt a push from behind me, and the room was brighter. It was as if Grace had said, "Go for it. You are finally listening."
But as it often is with Grace or Spirit, I didn’t get anything else.
- What am I going to do with this?
- A quill with a golden nip, the word scribe, and go for it?
- What am I supposed to do with this?
- Where is the map to show me the way?
- Did I misread the whole event?
I write because I trust that this is how Grace wants me to be of service.
I hope my blogs, letters and notes are useful for others, uplifting and encouraging the reader when the going gets tough.
Perhaps this is my time in the desert – to trust, have faith, and surrender to Grace's power.
I don’t know, and that is okay.
In the deepest moments of despair and fear rises up to take control. I remember the two moments when Grace was holding my hand and whispered, "I got you; you keep on going."
Here you have it. This is why I write.
And sometimes paint.
Thank you for reading my reasons for writing. Thank you for your patience and curiosity, which led you to the end of this confession.
Much love
Anja xx