Great Expectations
Oh yes, this time of year is round the corner.
Eagerly anticipated by some, dreaded by others.
What is it about Christmas that gets most folks into a dizzy?
Never mind that big companies have long hijacked the meaning of the season to make even more profit.
Then we have the expectation of children—and the stress of the parent who wonders how to pay for it all.
But this essay is not about the consumer frenzy but the expectations about Christmas and the burden it creates on the mental and emotional bodies (never mind the money)
I have been single for a long time, and my children have long left the nest.
It dawned on me that Christmas is all about family get-togethers and spoiling the children. When I was thinking of going out for the day to visit a Manor House, I realized it was all about Christmas and geared towards the little ones.
The other day, I noticed, “Enter this competition and win a romantic Christmas getaway for two.”
Does that mean that singles do not deserve a nice getaway in a romantic setting?
Or, as a single person, do I not enjoy a magical Christmas light walk through an enchanted forest?
What about those who never had children and desperately wanted them?
What about the parents who lost their child?
What about the divorced parent who can't be with the children at Christmas time?
And homeless people?
I most not forget to mention those whose family is abusive.
The whole charade is all about family, couples and children. Happy, wholesome, perfect.
Don’t get me wrong—it's all great and wonderful. But it seems that society has a paradigm about what Christmas is all about.
And no catering to the single person, the divorced parent, the childless couple, and the homeless.
Then, we have the expectations of what a family Christmas has to look like.
The perfect festive sleepwear – yes, you are reading this right. I saw an advert the other day – promoting the ideal Christmas sleepwear. It does take the biscuit, that’s for sure.
The word perfect gets more use during November and December than the rest of the year.
The advantage of being single over the festive season is that no one can expect anything. I get up when I feel like it, eat my “perfect” lunch, and do as I please. I have my cat, who loves to snuggle. That’s me sorted.
The promotion of what it takes to have the ideal Christmas: you have to have the perfect family with all the trimmings attached to it.
You can not have the ideal Christmas living on your own; the outside world has expectations and only sees what it knows. Happy Xmas equals a happy family.
What a farce.
Happiness is a mindset that comes from within. Accepting what is at this moment in time, letting go of expectations in how it should, could and has to be. The expectation is what kills the joy out of everything. Making the best of what I have and what is. Tomorrow is another day, or next week, or the month after. Letting it all go and living in the here and now.
I see through the illusion of Christmas and remember the stress my parents were under to give us the perfect Christmas. Then there was the long drive to visit the Grandparents. That was tense, for we kids were not to be heard, only seen. Very old school Grandpa was. There was no daytime TV or video games to keep us quiet, nor a garden to let off some steam. It was not a fun, relaxed environment.
When I was still married and the kids were young, the pressure was real. We wanted to create a wonderful time and see the family. We crammed around the table, and somehow, it all worked. No talks about politics helped to keep the peace.
It would be nice to see the power there be to cater to the ones left out in the cold in the hustle and bustle of this season, to cater to those who do not fit into the paradigm society created.
That would be a lucrative market, for sure. As it turns out, more and more people live on their own, some by choice, others by circumstance.
To finish this essay, I want to say, cut yourself some slack. You do the best you can, and that is enough. You are enough. And you are worthy of inner peace. Let the notion of the Best Ever Perfect Christmas go.
I hope you enjoy my musings, ponderings and wonderings.
Much love
Anja xx