I have been on this journey of transformation and transcendence for many years, striving to rediscover my authenticity. I believed I had figured it out, with my life finally calm and in order. Then, bang! The Universe decides I’ve had enough time to recuperate, and it’s time for another growth spurt. Or so it seems. Times of chaos are opportunities to grow, as we can only truly develop when we step out of our comfort zones. Would I have started on this journey to my true self, knowing what I do now? This path, filled with self-reflection and growth, has been my life's most transformative and inspiring experience.
Would living in an illusion and never questioning anything have been better? One of my biggest illusions was believing that once I had cleared, healed, and transformed old traumas and hurts and let go of old beliefs, I would be in the clear. Well, that has not been the case for me. I still get triggered and pushed out of my comfort zone.
How is it that after years of inner work, I still have trigger points?
I have learned that everything within us is reflected outwards. The people in our lives are mirrors, reflecting what we carry inside us. If I harbour judgment, it manifests as being judged and criticised by others. If I struggle with low self-esteem, it shows up as not being valued. The trigger occurs when we react or become irritated. This is the moment to stop and look within. No one can trigger me if I do not carry within me that which reacts.
Carl Jung said that it is the perfect moment to grow when we get irritated by others. We are all connected on an energy or consciousness level. Jung coined the term "collective consciousness". I hope I remembered this right. The concept of a grid of time and space is also relevant here.
My point is that when we feel annoyed, irritated, or hurt, we can learn from it. We should not blame others for upsetting or hurting our ego. I am not talking about abuse or harassment here, but everyday encounters and interactions. If someone cuts in front of you during rush hour, you can either get angry or say, “You’re welcome,” and move on. If someone dislikes the coffee beans you use, so what? We all have our preferences. I don’t like strong coffee, and when I mentioned this after being offered another cup, the other person got upset!
Is this kindergarten? Another person told me they disliked the brand of tea I use. Did I react? No. It did not bother me. When I went shopping, I bought a different brand. Everyone has trigger points, providing moments to grow, respond, and not react.
Eventually, we can reach a point where we are no longer a mirror. At this stage, you observe and watch from a place of love, compassion, and understanding. You stay true to yourself and no longer get upset by the words and deeds of others. I have more travelling to do before I reach that level. But on this journey, I’ve learned that self-compassion is as essential as self-awareness. It’s okay to be imperfect and to have trigger points. What matters is how we respond to them.
Sometimes, we are shown something we no longer carry within us. Or.
Trigger points are unleashed to elicit a reaction, feeding energy to the other person. A true energy vampire! Remember, we are energy; everything around us is energy. Maintaining a physical body takes a lot of energy. Add the other bodies to it and live in a draining reality—a job you are not passionate about, a taxing family, and technology that siphons energy all the time. A lifestyle that is not in alignment with your true nature.
Thanks to practices like Reiki, I can replenish my energy on all levels. Yoga and Tai Chi are also great for rejuvenating our energy bodies. Long walks in nature, meditation, and doing what you love all help replenish your energy and align you with life itself.
Ultimately, I am responsible for living my life and how I am responding to situations that push my buttons. No one can make me feel a certain way if I don’t allow it. When you let others dictate how you should be and what you can and cannot say, and when you walk on eggshells out of fear of upsetting others, it is time to move on. Or to practice forgiveness. I found that it works. I can walk away or do the work required of me to bring harmony and balance to the situation. Taking time to contemplate, sit with the hurt ego, and hold the frequency of love. I feel that is the way forward for me. Every challenge we face allows us to grow. If I choose to walk away from this, I have not learned what this is teaching me, and it will repeat itself in one form or another. I owe it to myself to live a life that aligns with my true nature, essence, and inner compass. This sense of ownership and empowerment is what self-awareness and self-care can bring to our lives. I choose the path of love.
I hope you enjoyed reading my musings and ponderings.
Much love,
Anja xx